One of the worst days ever.

let me prove to you my fickle minded self in this post, cause I totally experienced it the entire day today.

The start of the day was the happy-go-lucky self walking to school and just expecting little of my chemistry results. I knew it could be seen during math lecture cause i was happily laughing away with Alina and Cheryl, feeling like a girl again, being able to poke around like how i used to.

The girl people knew

Then, it all started to change after the lecture cause everything just seemed to go wrong. Chemistry results sucked like nothing else. I knew i came in with the mindset that I'll fail, UNFORTUNATELY, little did i know that passing it was so easy as i stared at her marking! She was as lenient as she could be! At that point of time, I've never been so disappointed with myself. It just sucked. And it definitely ruined my day. I couldn't even cry cause everyone seemed to be joyful about what they got,especially when half the class passed, some with pretty flying colours. And i was in no mood to introduce to the class the baby i was, plus i didn't want any attention or anything. So i just swallowed my anger and hid my downcast self 'til the end of the PW meeting,which wasn't very productive either. I think I was the first to leave class, if i weren't mistaken. I felt like a little infant who's just in a foul mood and knowing that no one would understand so I'd rather just keep it to myself, minus the wailing. Like a sardine can for one.

My patience level happened to be really high today.

At least for awhile.

So when i got home and got out for touch rugby training, i planned to just let it all out during the training and was i darn right i could! The training turned out to be completely physical! I was in dilemma at first cause the thought of running countless times around the field was gonna drain me for sure. But i kept going like there was no tomorrow, hoping that the world would just end at that point of time! I swore i couldn't care less if my stiches were overwhelming, or if my legs were gonna wobble and break on the spot or even if my sweat would just fill up innova jc. I just kept going and going and going, with having the thoughts in my head to be about how pissed i was still am with the chem results. After the run, many many static holds, and many many passes and running and backpeddling and RUNNING and SPRINTING AND RUNNING, and dont know how many suicides, i got home.

& that's when i just swore and curse like there's no other vulgarities that was ever created! After a good 15 minutes of shouting and spitting of those awesome words, i sat myself down and just slowly regain back the energy i've lost from being angry at the grades and maybe, someone. It really have been draining it all out and I'm glad i came to a stop .

I wanted to strangle someone and i have the perfect candidate for it.

But i guess i'm still sane and humane.

Though i practically lost half my mind.

So after that, that's when I'm here in front of the com. Still very sore from the drama today, i'd rather not talk much today or you might either find me the annoying and pampered girl who keeps complaining about her results or i might just spurt out unnecessary words to you and making you the victim. So if you happen to talk to me and i might just lash out my anger to you, don't take it to heart okay cause i don't mean it. AT ALLL

(:

( at least if you know you didn't do anything wrong today to get me all worked up.)

I think it even got to my sister. She was my very first victim.

I felt really bad when i came home all shouting and when she was like,

" WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING! ASK NICELY LA IF YOU WANT TO USE THE COM!!!!"

I still love you bitch, i really didn't mean to!

I intend to finish chemistry assignment tomorrow.

good news: i will have people to cheer me up tmr .

bad news: school is starting soon and i'm not looking forward to it.